When I was a kid, I had a burning desire to do two things: travel in a plane and visit America.
Thanks to my uncle Subash, who lived in America, it didn’t take long to fulfil both my dreams. My uncle was a frequent flyer with Delta Airlines and used to get free flight tickets. When I was 12, he gifted me a ticket to visit America.
I couldn’t believe my luck. He could have given the ticket to either of my two elder brothers, but for some reason, he chose me.
I had just over a decade with my uncle, but that was enough to leave a lasting impact and secure his place as my favourite uncle.
My uncle had a unique style in the way he spoke and carried himself. He ran a successful jewellery business in the US, had a knack for making an amazing egg bull’s-eye and drove what was, without doubt, the messiest car I’ve ever sat in.
One of my fondest memories with him was going for walks to Kumkumassery, a village a few kilometres from my maternal home, whenever he came to Kerala.
The walks could be tiring, but I enjoyed them because my uncle was great company. During our walks, I admired his confidence to walk into houses where he didn’t know anyone and casually strike up conversations with people.
By the time I visited him in America in 2007, he was battling pancreatic cancer and undergoing treatment. He had really wanted to take me to Disneyland, but his health didn’t allow it.
My uncle would say that growing old was a blessing because the only way to stop ageing was to die.
A few months after I returned from my trip to the US, I came back from school to the news that my uncle was no more. He had been critically ill for a while, yet it came as a shock. It felt strange knowing that I would never see him again.
My uncle had a big heart and would go the extra mile to help people. When he passed away, he left a fortune not only for his family but also for distant relatives.
He always took an extra interest in me, and looking back, that made me feel seen and valued. Now that I am an uncle myself to two of my elder brother’s children, his example has given me clarity about the kind of person I want to be for them.
His favourite movie was The Godfather, which is one of my favourites too. But I never got the chance to talk about it with him because I watched it only years after he had passed away.
Even today, 18 years after his death, I continue to benefit from the decisions he made. Uncle Subash, along with two of my other uncles, both settled in the US, bought an apartment right next to where I live today.
That place has been a refuge where I can sit, write or meditate in peace, without noise or distractions.
I sometimes wonder how things might have been if he hadn’t left us so early. But rather than dwell on my loss, I remind myself how fortunate I was to have an uncle like him.
Cherish and appreciate the people in your life while you can. You never know how long you’ll have with them.