We’ve been taught to believe that self-improvement must hurt. That progress demands sacrifice, grit, and a willingness to postpone pleasure until some distant finish line. “No pain, no gain,” we tell ourselves, as if joy were a distraction rather than a fuel. And when we stumble, we blame a lack of willpower, convinced that success belongs only to those who can grind relentlessly through discomfort.
But what if this belief is not just wrong, but actively holding us back? Research now points to a far more hopeful truth: pleasure is not the enemy of discipline. It is its greatest ally. We are far more likely to achieve our goals when the journey itself feels rewarding, not when we grit our teeth and wait for happiness to arrive later. In other words, instant gratification, wisely chosen, keeps us moving forward.
This insight comes from self-determination theory, which explains motivation as a spectrum. At one end are intrinsic drives: the things we do because they are enjoyable, engaging, or meaningful in the moment. At the other are extrinsic drives: the things we do because they are useful, important, or good for us in the long run.
Imagine exercise. You might run because you love the rhythm of your breath and the freedom of movement. That’s intrinsic motivation. Or you might run because your doctor insists it will protect your heart. That’s extrinsic motivation. Both can get you started, but only one reliably keeps you going.
Study after study shows that intrinsic motivation is the strongest predictor of persistence. In a large study published in 2025, researchers tracked people’s New Year’s resolutions for a full year. The result was striking: those who found their goals pleasurable or engaging were far more likely to stick with them. Long-term importance alone made no difference. A worthy goal, it turns out, is not enough if the daily effort feels joyless.
Yet most of us still design our goals around what we think we should do, rather than what we enjoy. That’s why so many plans collapse. The solution is not to abandon discipline, but to redesign it. Extrinsic and intrinsic motivation do not have to compete. You can aim for better health while choosing activities you genuinely love. If running feels like punishment, maybe dancing, skating, or swimming feels like freedom. The calories burned are the same, but the experience is entirely different.
The same principle applies to dieting, studying, or building habits of any kind. Choose meals that are delicious and nourishing, not bleak and restrictive. Pair difficult tasks with small pleasures, a technique known as “temptation bundling”. A favourite podcast during workouts or studying in a cosy café can turn obligation into anticipation.
The message is simple and powerful: stop making your goals harder than they need to be. Success does not require misery. When you build joy into the process, perseverance follows naturally. Progress thrives not on punishment, but on pleasure.
